When a Fave Prof Moves On....

Well, in the ever changing magical revolving door that is my department faculty, yet another professor is leaving. Sigh. I know, I'm leaving too, so who cares? I do.

She has only been here for a year, she is getting married and the hubs can't find work here, so she is moving on. As an advisor and a mentor, she was phenomenal, completely available, supportive, empathetic, and did not seem the least bit phased when I asked moronic questions regarding the formatting of my CV. She too, cares about formatting and actually commented that she liked it when I used editing marks to proofread. She said the portfolio I put together for my recommenders for grad school apps was a thing of beauty. The feedback she gave on papers and projects was incredible and really challenged me to become a better writer and a better historian. She introduced me to books I loved, and books I wanted to throw out the window. She listened to my anxieties about protocol and the culture of academe and offered level-headed advice. We had differing ideologies about the classroom, but as an advisor she was irreplaceable and now I feel like my foundation has completely shifted beneath me.

Don't misunderstand, I am not without support. I have two additional advisors who always offer sound advice and much appreciated honesty. I have strong connections with them, but at the same time, I have to and want to earn their respect. Whereas the professor who is leaving offered respect to everyone, from the get-go. She never let on if she thought I had just said the most stupid thing ever uttered by a human being. Her office/presence was a completely safe place to brainstorm, step outside of my comfort zone, think outloud, and just grow as a student.

I suppose it could be that I'm all emotional because I graduate in a month, or because it's that time of the month (cliche, I know, but true) but I'm having a hard time dealing with it. It has been so unexpected. Also, I guess part of me was hoping that after graduation, our relationship would grow into something less like student/teacher and more like friends. I won't be moving after graduation, so lunch was completely doable. Not so much now that she will be a region away. It could also be that I have already had this type of person move out of my life unexpectedly several years ago and there is still a hole for that professor who meant so much to me. Now, there will be another hole.

**Miss Clio